There are lots of different ways that people show respect. Respect can look very different in all the different relationships that we have, not just the romantic or sexual ones. We can show respect to our friends, whanau, family and everyone we interact with. Respect can also look very different across a variety of cultures.


  • Talking to a partner about what sexual stuff you want to do, and what they want to do, and making sure both people give consent
  • Finding out and understanding how the other person feels and how far they want to go
  • Not pressuring or guilt tripping someone into sexual stuff
  • Fairness
  • Trust
  • Honesty
  • Treating people with dignity
  • Making an effort to get to know people instead of judging them by the way they look
  • Making sure they’re OK - simply saying, "Are you ok?" is a good start
  • Never pressuring people into having unprotected sex if they want to use protection
  • Giving people their own personal space so they can sort through things in their own head without having someone else right there
  • By using manners – saying please and thank you
  • Not thinking too much about yourself or thinking too much about the other person - try and find a balance that suits everyone’s needs
  • Be understanding
  • Listening to each other and respecting other people’s opinions, even if you don’t agree with them
  • Considering other people’s feelings and needs
  • Listening
  • Not being violent towards anyone whether they're straight, bi, or attracted to any particular type of person
  • Telling people how you feel about stuff
  • Building people up instead of putting them down
  • Not stepping over people’s boundaries or disrespecting their values
  • Treating other people’s friends and family/whānau well
  • Treating other people’s stuff well
  • Giving each other space when it’s needed


The four keys to consent can help people have respectful conversations about sex and consent.

It can be really hard to talk about sex with someone that you like, it might feel embarrassing or even awkward. However, do you think someone would feel valued in a relationship if someone asked them about sexual stuff before just doing it? We think so!